Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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