Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize