If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
where does the pee come out of this thing
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
