i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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