Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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