I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
