The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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