i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
