it wasn't lemon gatorade
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My cat gives me a boner
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im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
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i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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