I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
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I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
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The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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