I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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