He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
