a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
