I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
