Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
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I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
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Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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