shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
