Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
