This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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