I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
