If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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