I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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