If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
