I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
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Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We had sex on a dog bed..
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Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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