I can tuck mytits in my pants
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
