The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
