bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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