So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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