Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
