his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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