And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Can I color on your dick again?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
