He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
