And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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