Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
