Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
