Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
