he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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