if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize