p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
