All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
