mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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