I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
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He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
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A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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