drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
