Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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