Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
