That's intense
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
