oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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