Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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