He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
