he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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