you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
