we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
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i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
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I deserve to be covered in dicks
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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