i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
