dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
