You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
