Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
