Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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