how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
