Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Found your dick twin last night
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize