So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
