Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
