I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
