I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
