Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
