so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
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I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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