How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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